06 May What to Do When You’re Healing & Going Through a Spiritual Awakening
Just the other day in Ubud a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile (so she was obviously following me online in the meantime) came up and hugged me and was like “You’re such a shining light in the world! How do you do it? I am so deep in my dark shit right now, I can’t even write or move or teach or travel.”
And naturally, my heart melted. But my first honest response was…
“I am so deep in my dark shit, too. Like, at an unprecedented level. I’ve just chosen to not let working in the darkness keep me from sharing the light that’s already there.”
Okay, I’m paraphrasing my higher self now because I didn’t say something quite that elegant at the time, but that’s what I meant.
I see this so much in Bali, the global epicenter for people coming to heal and remember who they are (god bless the Balinese for allowing all these lost souls to come and work their stuff out on this medicinal soil).
I’ve seen it in myself, too. I went through (and let’s be real, still going through, will always be going through) a massive spiritual awakening and healing period of my life.
The quantum shift that happened, the soul-level revelation that happened was that I realized there’s no “I heal this and then I get that” formula that’s actually true. I woke up when I caught myself basically saying, for like a year, “I’m healing now and once I’m done healing, I can start living life again.”
That’s separation. That’s black and white thinking. That’s conditionality. That’s ILLUSION. Yoga has taught me how to deal with illusion.
So many people hold the carrot out in front of themselves and go “when I finally get on purpose in my life, then I will find (deserve) my partner,” “when I finally let go of my childhood trauma, then I will figure out my true purpose,” “when I finally heal from my last relationship, I will kick start my dream life.”
So much if/then thinking. So much delaying. So much illusion.
You don’t have to wait for anything to happen before you can get any result you want. You don’t have to go through a process and work really hard and dedicate everything to healing until you’re able to do something you’ve always wanted to do. You don’t have to “embody the goddess” or manifest a lot of money or be perfectly on purpose in order to find love. That’s ridiculous.
Once we wake up, we’re always healing. We’re always coming home. We’re always remembering more of who we really are.
The key is to integrate this constant evolution into our lives. To be someone who’s constantly evolving (healing) and working on himself but who is also still stepping into the highest version of himself available in any given moment. No conditionality. No “if I do this, then I get this.” No, just do what you want now. No, be who you want to be now.
The biggest healing comes when we step way far ahead of where we are right now and claim it.
Let’s zoom in and speak on a practical level. I never waited until I had all the money and a sustainable business plan to travel the world for 6 years and then decide to move to Bali. I just bought one-way plane tickets when they were available. I just moved to Bali because I wanted to and it was available. The money and the business came after (well, it had to). I never waited until someone else saw my wisdom and value and said, why don’t you become a spiritual mentor and healer and teacher and writer? I never waited until my healing process was “complete” in order to step into helping others with theirs. I just stepped into it because it was available — and aligned.
I could have continued to hold myself hostage to healing and say that I can’t write about something that I haven’t completely healed in myself, or I can’t share my soul’s wisdom because I don’t have a degree in psychology or philosophy or some other old paradigm story.
I’m constantly uncovering more stuff in the darkness. I’m constantly removing blockages and fear and upping my self-worth and confidence and awareness. I just choose to shine the light that’s already there.