06 May How to Navigate a Spiritual Awakening & Healing Process
There’s this old way of thinking and doing things that says it should all be a process, with hard work and incremental progress, and eventually, if we persevere, we get the result we want. We hold ourselves in a lingering state of wanting something that we already have. More on that later.
Like when I talk about my traumatic childbirth, for example. That alone should have sent me to therapy for 10 years to process and understand the implications and effects of that on my relationship to my mother, my whole sense of security and right to be in the world, my nervous system, conditioned stress, and basically my entire psyche.
And honestly, when it happened, my entire psyche cracked open. I’ve had multiple times in my life where some realization and remembering was so profound that it literally cracked open my entire psyche and left my brains oozing on the floor.
Luckily, I don’t live in the paradigm that subscribes to an incremental process and luckily I don’t subscribe to spiritual bypassing either.
I subscribe to going as deep as needed to feel and release everything but going deep NOW and processing it all NOW and asking for the clearing that is available NOW across all time, space, and dimension. I sharpen my awareness and willingness to the point that I don’t need to delay gratification on this. I don’t need to hold healing out at arms length and tell myself if I just heal this, then I can get that.
This for that is conditional. It’s linear thinking. We don’t live in a linear world! Life is not conditional! It is not linear!
The only time that ever exists is right now. We are eternally living in the present moment. And I believe I can access across time, space, dimension, and illusion and access the state of peace, acceptance, love, and harmony NOW. Because I AM peace, acceptance, love, and harmony.
Let’s take the traumatic childbirth example. The remembering came after many years of consistent yoga practice and it came sitting in fire ceremony with my teacher in India. Because I had cleared my channels to experiencing my emotions and my higher self’s guidance and wisdom, I was able to feel the revelation at a very deep level when it arrived. The emotion was overwhelming. I collapsed. I went somewhere between a black-out and a samadhi level of meditation.
It stayed with me for a few days until I finally went into a place where I could see all the effects of that part of my life. It was all laid out and shown to me and I recognized the truth of it. And somehow, as it happens when we work at a quantum level, the deep allowance and willingness to just see it all and not hide from it allowed it to release. I didn’t need to hold onto anything that wasn’t my soul flavor of peace and freedom. It just didn’t belong to me. I knew the ultimate work was 1) feel it and 2) forgive it, so I did the work and I asked that it be done NOW.
This is like what normally happens in an ayahuasca ceremony. (For the record, I’ve never worked with plant medicine but most of my tribe has. It’s not been my path to walk, but I’m familiar with how it works.)
Only I didn’t have to consume any substance at all whatsoever. I simply got so clear, so willing to feel, and so focused on truth that the work moved through me. I believed that it could be immediately transformed because NOT being transformed would be an illusion. I am wholeness, peace, love, radiance, connection, and expansion. The illusion that anything from the past could stop me from being what I already am is just that, an illusion. This is the yoga.
Anything painful that is revealed to us MUST be seen and it MUST be integrated and felt and worked on. Anything else is spiritual bypassing. The illusion is around how long that has to take. How painful it has to be. How drawn out the process has to be. How many people it takes to screw the lightbulb back in.
Don’t hold yourself hostage to healing. You don’t need to do X until you get Y.
Y is available now. Remember that. You just have to believe it’s possible, be willing to feel everything NOW, forgive what needs to be forgiven, and ask that it be done across time, space, dimension, and illusion.
We’re human. We forget. Some really big deal things happen, but they don’t actually change who we already are at a soul level, which is who we are trying to get to by healing. Just step into that now. It’s available now.